Posted in Love, Revelation, Spiritual Growth

Have You Ever Felt Stuck?

Hello beloved!  I know it has been quite a while since I have posted anything.  So if you have been following me, I offer my sincere apologies!  I got stuck.

You are probably thinking, what do you mean ‘You got stuck?’  Well, I got stuck….meaning I stopped moving and progressing in the Lord.  The enemy really attacked my mind and attempted to drag me back down the road of depression was the main thing.

He started hitting me with the thoughts like nobody cares about you, that’s why they don’t call and check on you.  You are so cut off that no one would even miss you if you were gone. God is mad at you now and doesn’t want to talk to you because you let work take precedence….and just a whole bunch of other junk!  All lies from hell, this I know in my spirit.  But, when you really are all by yourself, and you have little to no interaction with humanity for extended periods of time, it can be quite easy to succomb to such thoughts. What one sees in the natural lines up with these thoughts, and if we aren’t watchful, it begins to “appear” to be true.

Moving on with this story….over a period of time, I could sense that I was slowly sinking in deeper.  It wasn’t like a slippery slope, but more like quicksand. On a slippery slope, you just keep sliding down no matter what you do. But quicksand is different. In quicksand, if you stay still, you won’t sink any deeper. But if you struggle and fight, you will sink more.  So, when I began to realize where I was, I sat still.  However, I didn’t know for sure what to do next.  I didn’t know what to pray. It seemed as though any confession I spoke over myself was having no effect whatsoever. And so, I felt like I was just stuck right where I was.

I felt in my heart that I just needed something different.  I needed a good prodding. Deep within me was this desire to have a loving and swift kick in the rear.  While that might not make any sense at first glance, but one of my favorite preachers has said many times that the highest form of love is discipline. And I’ll save the details of that concept for another blog post.

I was yearning to get OUT of the funk I was in though I didn’t even know what to ask the Lord for specifically.  All I could mutter was just “Help me Jesus!”  And help me He did! He led me to listen to some other ministers. Ministers that are anointed to bluntly yet lovingly pull people out of the devil’s tactics and grip, and snap them back to attention. Thank You Jesus!

Interestingly enough, many of these ministers’ teachings and preachings said, “You aren’t stuck! You just stopped moving in the proper way and direction you need to move!” And boy was that ever the truth!  I did stop moving.  I let the confusion and chaos the devil had attacked me with to take over and cause havoc to the point that I just stopped doing anything…..right or wrong.

But praise God Almighty!  He is loving me back to life, clearing the rubble of what felt like a tornado at the time, and putting solid groung underneath my feet!

I am not stuck, and I never was!  And neither are you!  Just keep seeking and trusting God!  He WILL pull you out of the mud and the muck, and place you on solid ground if you don’t give up and don’t quit!  Amen!

I love you, my brothers, sisters and friends in the Lord!

Posted in Love, Spiritual Growth, Trust

Trust Issues

Greetings Beloved!  I pray that you are prospering and in health even as your soul prospers!

The Lord wanted me to share with you today about my trust problems.  When I really think about it, I’ve had issues with trusting people for a long time, as in many years. But in the past couple of years or so, He’s revealed to me that I had trust issues big time!  I didn’t trust much of anyone including God or even myself.  Yes, that is very sad, but that’s just where I’ve been for many years. Jesus has brought me a long ways….but He’s still working on me and so graciously helping me. Hallelujah!

I remember being a shy and quiet child, and I had few friends in school.  I was the poster child for introverts if there ever was one.  Growing up, the only person I was completely and totally comfortable with was my younger sister.  I got teased and made fun of in grade school (christian school, btw), and got bullied in the 9th grade, which didn’t help matters.  10th grade and on was a little better.  As an adult, I still wasn’t one to introduce myself let alone start a conversation with someone I didn’t know well. Then I got a job at a grocery store as a cashier.  I took that job because I needed a job, and it didn’t cross my mind in that moment just how much I would be interacting and dealing with people. Hey I was young and naive. It’s so funny now, when I think back to being in training for that job.  The lady who was training me, put me on a “live” lane meaning real customers coming through.  I would just scan their items and tell them the total due.  After 3 or 4 customers, my trainer pulled me back off, and looked at me and said rather sternly, “You have got to say ‘hi’ to people!” I can only imagine the look on my face as I was thinking inside myself “You mean I have to talk to people?” I didn’t say that, thank God. I just told her “ok,” and began to force myself to start acknowledging each customer.  It was the best thing for me and really helped me A LOT when it came to strangers.

But I still didn’t let hardly anyone get real close to me. I was a very private person emotionally, and the deep things of my heart most often either just stayed inside of me, or was written in a journal that I would hide so no one could find it.  I always felt like no one understood me or even cared to, if that makes sense. That wasn’t true, but that is how I saw it then, and even until a couple of years ago.

I got born again in 1995, but it wasn’t until 2017 that the Lord started to reveal and help me with this.  Why that long?  Me.  He was waiting on me to let Him. I didn’t know that I could talk to Him about everything!  Once I know that I could, I still struggled to talk to Him and just pour my heart out, even though I knew my heart was safe with Him, and knew that He already knew what was in my heart! I was so used to just keeping everything to myself and not talking about things that bothered me. I realized that I didn’t even trust God!

One of the ways He showed me to help with this where He is concerned, was to look up and write down several Scriptures about trusting God. And then to personalize them and read them out loud.  I haven’t read them every single day, but every day that I do, I can sure tell the difference in me! And I can tell my faith in Him is growing, too.  Thank You Jesus! And I feel like I’m lighter and more free inside….it’s so wonderful!

If by chance you feel like you are struggling with fully trusting and having faith in God, people or yourself even, I highly recommend doing the same thing.  In fact, I’ll just share the Scriptures I’ve been using with you. I’ll put a link at the end of this post. Read them out loud at least once a day. And read them believing that it will make a difference.  It might take a few days, or even weeks, but just keep at it….your mind will get renewed. Then one day, something will make you go “Hey, I didn’t have any trouble believing that!”

Much love to you, and remember to believe His love for you!  He will never leave you or forsake you….ever!

Download PDF Here: Scriptures About Trust

Posted in Spiritual Growth

Clean Up – Inside and Out

I am one of those people who doesn’t like a lot of clutter around me.  Though I’m not perfect at it, I try my best to not let things pile up to the point they become overwhelming just to look at.  Dirty laundry goes into the hamper, clean laundry gets folded and put away, dirty dishes get rinsed and put into the dishwasher, and so forth.

Several months ago, the Lord told me to clean out and clean up.  I knew He didn’t mean “clean the house” in the general sense of that phrase.  He meant for me to dig out all the stuff I had been toting around in boxes for years.  The stuff I had been hanging on to. So one day, I pulled all those neatly stacked boxes out of the closet in the spare bedroom.  What was inside, however, was not so neatly organized.  I just threw stuff in there over the years thinking “I’ll get to it later”. One by one, I went through them.  I had photos scattered throughout most all of them I think, instead having all my photos in one box.  I still had stuff from when I was a teenager because it meant something to me at the time.  I had a lot of stuff I collected and kept from my Mom’s house after she passed, most of which was just because it was Mom’s.  Most of it didn’t really have any value, sentimental or otherwise.  It all was a jumbled mess.

The Lord had me do this because I needed to learn to let go of things.  And there were many things that I thought, “Why did I keep that?! What was I thinking?”  Those were easy enough to trash.  But I also found there were many things I kept because of a past memory that needed to go. It wasn’t about the thing, it was about what was attached to it.  I didn’t think to count how many boxes I started with, but I am down to 9.  Some of those remaining have things that I can and will sell.  But the Lord wasn’t finished with that just yet.

The past month or so, Jesus has been working on the closet in my heart.  I had gotten myself, or rather allowed myself, to get in a funk.  I felt like I was just stuck in the mud and couldn’t get myself out.  The worst of it all was that I lost my joy.  I don’t know if one could even call it a prayer, but I just said, “Lord help me with this. I feel like a mess inside.”  He did just that.  Little by little, in various ways.  Some of it was through grabbing a pen and paper and just writing out the stuff that kept popping up in my thoughts.  Some of His help came through some of the programs I watched on BVOVN.  There were two programs in particular that Jesus really got through to me with.  One, was an episode from “Your World With Creflo” titled Abandonment Anxiety. And the other one was (I believe the 2nd episode) of the new Kellie & Jerri Show titled Happy To Be Me.

After watching these shows, I said, “Okay Lord, I yield myself to You. Peel back the layers and shine Your light on those hidden things lurking in my heart that I don’t know.”  And just wow!  Layer after layer, the Lord has been revealing some stuff in me that I had no idea was in there.  But with every layer revealed, so much of what I’ve gone through in my life (most of which was self-inflicted), now makes sense to me.  And so much of it was just lies from the enemy….a.k.a trash!  Not worth keeping!

I thought it was going to be an uncomfortable process, but it went better than I thought it would.  I got rid of much of the hidden clutter in my closet.  I also got rid of some of the hidden clutter lurking inside of me that I really wasn’t aware of.  My natural closet in the spare bedroom was a reflection of my inner, spiritual closet.  All nice and neat on the outside, but a jumbled mess on the inside.  I needed Jesus to help me tackle both closets and set me free from the junk hiding inside.  I needed cleaning up, both inside and out.

I pray this helped you in some way today.  And always remember that God’s love will change your life for the better! Believe in His love! He’s not out to get you, He wants to heal you and set you free!